Dumage / fun

Women’s Faces and Their Meanings

Guys, there is your chance to solve unsolvable enigma called women. I am already using this “user manual” for my wife. ;)

1. Contempt:
lifted brows, upper lip lifted. How to cause this: it’s enough just to wipe the sweat off your head with a tip of your tie.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

2. Controlled anger:
tightly shut lips, flared nostrils, eyes squinting slightly. How to cause this: find a photo album with your ex-wife photos and put it in a prominent place.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

3. Fear:
eyes open wide, eyebrows slightly raised comers of the mouth are pointing downward. How to cause this: pick up the phone and say: “Hey Wolfgang! I heard you and your brothers have no place to live? Well, come live with us!”

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

4. Sarcastic Smile:
mouth half-open, eyes slightly squinting. How to cause this: going out with your buddies, promise to be home at 9 pm.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

5. Obligatory Smile:
mouth corners are pointing in different directions, in a lopsided smile. How to cause this: invite your boss to visit your house.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

6. Derision:
lips shut, eyes squinting. How to cause this: refuse to pay extra $100 for a hotel room with a better view.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

7. Asking nicely:
lifted eyebrows, trembling chin. How to cause this: promise something, then change your mind.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

8. Pleading:
wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open, eyes wet. How to cause this: Again promise her something, (see previous), and then change your mind again.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

9. Baffled Anger:
one eye squinted, jaw put forward. How to cause this: when you team wins, go to bed dressed in it’s colors.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

10. Confusion:
eyes open wide, mouth slightly open. How to cause this: get a tattoo with a different girl’s name.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

11. Deep Hatred:
all face muscles are frozen as in a mask. How to cause this: Say that her new dress is good, but your secretary’s dress is better.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

12. Humble Submission:
mouth is closed, one eyebrow slightly raised. How to cause this: as yet unknown.

Womens Faces and Their Meanings

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28 Responses

  1. cna training says:

    Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

  2. Kara says:

    Pretty sure the faces dont match up to the descpitions on a few of these. May want to revise.

  3. Most of those faces would earn a response from me that would very quickly bring about number 3 followed by 8 then 7 and finally coming to rest at 12. Men, on your feet! Women, on your knees!

  4. Kara's husband says:

    Woman! Give me my beer and go wash my socks! After that maybe you can go online again! For your own good I hope I don’t have to tell it to you again!

  5. anonymous says:

    Sexist b……t

    Not funny in the slighest..

  6. Bob Fairlane says:

    I thought she was cute!

  7. Kara's husband says:

    Whatup anonymous? The pictures clearly show how simple women are. This is what disturbes you, huh?

  8. Hax0rT3hN00bz says:


  9. Top Twenty Lists says:

    Oh my God this was no EXACT. I got married about 3 months back and I have seen all of these expressions…lol

  10. Justsayin says:

    Next, do one with a guy :D! Oh…wait..that would be boring, since they would all be of one face…the blank stupid stare.

  11. lol says:

    8S FUNNY! LOL =)

  12. truth says:

    Actually they would be varied and resemble the emotion showing. No games or double meanings just an honest way to show what you are feeling.
    What women would see on the other hand would be the same expression because women don’t have a clue when it comes to men no matter how easy we try to make it for you.

    I call it Female Aspergers.

  13. Susan says:

    11 pic: Dissapointed: This face means “This is not 20 cms”.
    12 pic Im sorry: This face means “Kindly your best friend invited to get sleep at his bed when I get drunked”.
    13 pic Face means “Honey, bald men are not sexy”

  14. C. says:

    Susan. There is no 13th pic and what are you saying in 12?
    But no. Disappointment is not up there actually.

  15. Susan says:

    C, whatever pic of disappointed women when she thinks “this is not 20 cms” this face is on minds of women around the world…… ¬¬

  16. gregg says:

    Unfortunately Susan most women are really disappointed that if it was 20cm it would still too small for her organ and she knows that.
    There are opperations for you to have it tightened but they cost money and it sounds like you need two off them.

  17. lola76 says:

    I know the answer to #10. :-P

  18. Gene says:

    some of these comments are shallow as hell. Facial expressions are universal through both genders. So what if their similar or predictable? That’s the whole point of having expressions.

  19. Mac says:

    Very unlikely that you would see #12 after the previous 11. I think you got 12 wrong anyway. It looks like the beginning realization that she’s made a very big mistake.

  20. Katalina says:

    This article is so sexist! I have seen men making similar facial expression, yet we have no article on that one. If a someone doesn’t even have the common sense to figure out the expressions by themselves and need this article to tell them what it is, then people, you fail as a human being and should check yourself in a hospital for the insane.

  21. Trin says:

    You know, I study sites like these just so I can keep abreast of what kind of horribly dehumanizing shit some men think about women. I treat everyone as if they are capable of this inability to empathize or remove themselves from a position of privilege at all until I know them well enough to know better, and this is especially true of men. Thank you for your honesty. It is extremely helpful.

  22. Idrao says:

    I’ve seen men with the same faces. They should have added a guy next to her and change the title to “faces and their meanings.”… or something.
    No one is a copy of another, therefor also having different ways to react to things, which means different faces. The person who wrote this have no sense of humor. (:

  23. Garry says:

    I pulled a kissing-face once, and my gf was quite amused to have taken a picture of it. When I asked her to return the favour, aka I wanted a picture of her making said face as well, se refused. When pleadingly asked again, she walked away and gave me the no.12 It was pretty confusing at that.

  24. WaterParticle says:

    This is stupid. All genders shows these emotions, and others as well. It’s just another article to infuse in peoples simple minds that males and females are that much different. There are the obvious differences, but we are all human beings living together. I’ve met simple dumbshit woman, I’ve met really awesome woman that are nice. I’ve met dumb as shit guys and really awesome nice guys. There is good and bad in all people, not genders and if you focus on the bad people all the time you just make yourself and everyone else unhappy, and you yourself becomes simple. That can be said to anyone of any gender doing this. I want to be around awesome people I don’t care what they look like or what gender they are. Everyone is simple in someway and there is always so much more inside a character than a generic expression. ILYall.

  25. Terry Smith says:

    You’ve got it sooooooooo wrong.
    #1 = You’re in trouble.
    #2 = You’re in trouble.
    #3 = You’re in trouble.
    #4 = You’re in trouble.
    etc. etc. etc.
    Get the drift?

  26. Hitman says:

    Katalina, Go kill yoursellf.

  27. M says:

    Humble Submission:
    mouth is closed, one eyebrow slightly raised.

    How to cause this: stop f**king giving so much notice to her and trying to understand her, act and be a Man.

  28. Disco_st0o says:

    Chill out Lightman.

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