The One and the Only – Chuck Norris
With beard and roundhouse kick, he bring up the pain! Man, I can’t believe how many jokes are made for this B-movie actor. He crushes everything and everyone. There’s no famous person that didn’t feel the power of his roundhouse kick ! : ) I’ve made a little gallery of his caricatures and made the list of my favorite jokes. So, enjoy… until Chuck find out about this post ;)
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
3. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
5. When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
6. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
7. If scientists cloned Chuck Norris, the possibility of their roundhouse kicks contacting would destroy the universe.
8. There are aliens but they are waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they invade.
9. Chuck Norris was once having sex in a tractor/trailer when some of his sperm escaped into the engine. You may now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
10. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
11. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
12. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
13. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
…and, finally… in fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.