Dumage / fun

Don’t Play These Games!

A low-status game may be known to be terrible or perhaps it’s cutesy or it lets you disappear into another world. Whatever it is, this low-status game is enough to make your friends, your coworkers and your fellow gamers want to hit the reset button on knowing you. If anyone sees you dominating Madden, they’ll not only get you, they’ll respect you. Hell, they may even fear  of your skills. However, what if someone sees you playing one of those games that cause people to cringe, shudder and question our game choice? These are low-status games. This is my list of low-status games that you shouldn’t let others know you play. Or, just hide yourself well : )

# 10 Wii Fit

Sure, it’s a fun game on Nintendo’s Wii and it has been advertised as a great way to get some exercise, but… Seriously?  Lose hours playing Wii Fit and those who know you will run like hell – and not virtually either. You’re a man and you get your exercise with weight-lifting in a gym or beating the other team on the court. You risk losing your status by bragging in the locker room about how much body fat Wii Fit has told you you’ve lost.

Dont Play These Games!


# 9 Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts 2

This is how you get your gun off? If you want to really hunt, grab your gun (or, even better, a bow) and head out into the woods. Chasing digitized deer in the virtual woods is lame and you deserve the raised eyebrows you’re going to get for doing it – especially if you wear camouflage while playing this low-status video game.

Dont Play These Games!


# 8 Hasbro Family Game Night

Yes, when you were a kid you pulled up to the dining room table and played Battleship, Boggle and Connect Four. You were also still wetting the bed. Hasbro Family Night (and Family Game Night 2) are great video games for the family. See the word “family” in the title? But you don’t want to sit in front of the big screen playing with Mr. Potato Head on a Saturday night. Don’t risk your fellow gamers’ respect boasting about your achievements in Bop It against the Xbox 360.

Dont Play These Games!


# 7 Tales of Vesperia

There’s not enough that can be said about how annoying this game is. It is a blend of extremely terrible voice acting, anime and Final Fantasy/Pokémon/Monster Rancher. Players run around gathering up a band of heroes and chasing creatures all while your character constantly says what they’re going to use next in battle. There’s some plot about ancient technology and imperial knight… blah, blah, blah… You get swag rights in killing the Covenant or blasting the undead hordes, but powering up your big-haired pointed-ear Akira-knockoff while fighting a praying mantis is lame. Tales of Vesperia is cool if you’re 8, weak if you’re 20 or 38.

Dont Play These Games!


# 6 Rayman: Raving Rabbids

No arms, no legs and you still wonder why this game pulls your status down? Rayman was once considered a new and innovative hero, but that was, what, like 10 years ago? Now, no one knows what the hell he is (is it even a he?). Ubisoft’s Rayman: Raving Rabbids puts the titular hero against a race of giant, evil rabbits. So why does playing this cute game take your credits down? Because, once again, no arms and no legs and you’re fighting rabbits. These evil bunnies dress up like ninjas, pirates and French maids, and yell with red eyes when they attack. In today’s world of cyborg super-soldiers and ninja assassins, there’s no room for what little space freaky Rayman and his bunny enemies take up.

Dont Play These Games!


# 5 Superhero movie games

This category includes, but isn’t limited to, such titles as Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Fantastic Four, etc. Truth is that every guy wanted to be a superhero growing up. So when a video game comes out, of course it’s a great chance to slip on tights and save the day. However, when you spend hours playing the crap video games that are pumped out in time for summer blockbusters, you quickly lose gamer cred. Be a weak-ass superhero behind closed doors.

Dont Play These Games!


# 4 Sims

Life is hard, yes it is. But is it really so hard that you need to hide in a make-believe version of the real world? You look extremely lame to your fellow gamers. You better not dare go into the office pumped up or saddened because your Sim has a problem. There’s no pride in your day being affected by how your virtual life is faring. Your friends and fellow gamers will realize you’re a huge loser as you play your “life-simulation computer game.” Want to build a family? Get off the damn game console and PC and go find a girl and have some kids. You’re losing status, man. There’s no practice for living life.

Dont Play These Games!


# 3 Leisure Suit Larry

Wow, a game in which you get to sleep with fake women. Dating back to the late ’80s, Leisure Suit Larry lets you play as Larry Laffer, a balding, pudgy bachelor, in his 40s always on the electronic prowl for pixilated poonanny. Even he has low status. The game series has the player trying to get laid all the time, and you usually fail. So you want to spend time trying to have sex only to get rejected by a game? This game makes you a loser because you’re wasting time virtually wasting time trying to get some. Go out there and at least try to pick up women in real life.

Dont Play These Games!


# 2 Pokémon

Any game with a Pokémon in it drags you far below the bottom of the barrel. You’re not an 8-year-old boy living in a world of anime animals. Keep your Poke-playing completely and absolutely to yourself. If your friends find out that you spent the weekend capturing yellow rabbit creatures that throw lightning and you did this willingly, you may have any Xbox Live and PS3 friendships revoked. Make damn sure you also get rid of your trading cards that you surely have hidden somewhere.

Dont Play These Games!


# 1 World of Warcraft

If your biggest achievement of the day is that you’re a Level 20 Undead Warlock, you may want to keep this to yourself. While Warcraft and WoW are impressive games, losing yourself in an imaginary world of gold, Lich Kings and orcs will drop your status with a quickness. Like the Sims – you spend so much time trying to build up your make-believe rank that you lose your real-life status. Sure, the Blood Elves may quake with your name, but spending hours playing World of Warcraft is like putting a giant “L” on your forehead and a “Kick Me” sign on your back, gamer.

Dont Play These Games!


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127 Responses

  1. brian says:

    Respect -1000

    Pokemon is the s**t

    and who plays sims 2 without mods
    who wouldn’t want to play as the X men or Harry Potter

    Iron man was alright I had some fun with it but I found it kinda hard at times

  2. Alex says:

    Highly opinionated crap. If you enjoy playing a game, play it and don’t give a shit what people think. If people are going to judge you for what games you play, they’re not really worth knowing.

    I agree that people shouldn’t spend too much time on games, but when they do play they should play what they like. Who gives a s**t about “gamer cred”?

  3. Anon says:

    honestly, i just stumbled upon this site, and have to say, i feel sorry for whoever puts up ads for a shitty site like this. Trying to take yourself too seriously for posting shitty shopped pics that no one cares about and writing half-assed, opinionated hater/hipster crap will just push people away. what kind of shit do you play? Barbie: Pink Pony extravaganza? Nintendogs? brian might say respect -1000, but the real question is, did anyone ever respect you in the first place? suck it fag

  4. Bum says:

    WOw, i hope the author will read hes article when he hits 20 years of age, surely his face will turn red from shame. Dont worry boy, when you grow up, you dont think of what others think of you, you think of what you want.

  5. Matt says:

    God damn you’re retarded. You wont play a game because of what others think of you? You are an idiot. Some superhero games, like Spiderman, are great. Pokemon is great as long as you aren’t a prick who cares what others think of them, same with World of Warcraft. Tales of Vesperia is also a great RPG, just because you don’t like anime doesn’t make it terrible. I think you should stop writing articles, bud.

  6. Monoloco says:

    I don’t give a shit to you since I saw Tale of Vesperia in the list.
    you should check you information before you posted this. do you know how many Tale series was made and how many that translated them to English version ? what you don’t like, doesn’t mean it sucks…

  7. TehBongontaor says:

    Author. Is. An. Idiot. Unfortunately, he’s one who believes his opinions about relative issues such as video games are important/valid. -900 DKP

  8. Crimson Hikari says:

    So…playing anything but a shite sports game is bad?

    Fuck off. Get some Gears Of War and Fable and down your throat, and play Vesperia. It’s fun as FUUUUUUUCK!

    And don’t you be talking shit about Pokemon. Pokemon will always be fun.

  9. tahrey says:

    “Pointy haired akira knock-off”

    Author has never heard of, let alone seen any other anime in their life? Hmm.

  10. Insigma says:

    Once he said playing Madden makes you awesome, I stopped listening.

  11. trollface says:

    im may say with soem certainty that this list is a bunc of horse crap,i agree with hero video games and actually all video games that come out right after a movie release,and ofc all sports games…and sims,but i played wow for 3 years and i never talked about wow when im not only with friends that play wow,every gamer say wow players have no life,well maybe in japan or w/e,people liek you say wow players dont have a life and then they go on xbox live and play call of duty for 16 hours because they are cool and have best scores…always,so yeah,mostly bullshit by a bullshit gamer troll-nerd,or whatever insult you like to choose from the arsenal….

  12. Kira says:

    I am a lv 80 Warlock [twice actually :)], I have a Paly and A Rogue of the same level and I AM a woman, 22 years old.
    So suck on your mother’s teat you prick!

  13. GCS14 says:

    I can’t count how many times you mentioned the words “lame”, “loser”, “cred”, and so on. What are you, eight?

    If the only explanation you can think of to justify your list is “you lose gamer cred, man” or “if you play this your life sucks” or any other iteration thereof, then sadly, this list is shallow. Rayman is bad because he has no arms and legs? What kind of a reason is that?

  14. tu papá says:

    Yeah, that’s what a PSTard wich only plays FPS’s all fuckin’ day believing it will get him some babes.

  15. ESauce says:

    Wow. I’m amazed middle school boys are paid to write articles.

  16. Starch says:

    I like Tales of Vesperia

  17. Mr. Johnson says:

    Wow, this site caters to the brain dead apparently. Whoever wrote this article sounds like a f**king retard.

  18. wtf?? says:

    you sound like some kid who had just made it into middle school who wants to act “cool” and “grown up” wherein you’re dissin’ on games that you think other kids would consider as “children games” (with your comment on hasbro, pokemon, rayman and superhero games) wherein pokemon, rayman and superheroes are commonly linked to kids . . which isn’t really in real life

    while this notion of you being a kid is supported by the fact you don’t like sims which is a social game which adults and those kids who grew with sims like so much,

    furthermore, you’re comment on leisure suit larry which was

    –“…This game makes you a loser because you’re wasting time virtually wasting time trying to get some. Go out there and at least try to pick up women in real life.”

    personally me, if i’m playing leisure suit larry, i’m not really wasting my time which i could have used to pick up women in real life, because i already have a girlfriend and getting more than some in real life, playing this doesn’t really make you pathetic, it’s just mere adult entertainment . .

    lastly, your comment on world of warcraft sounds like it’s coming from someone who haven’t played it at all, in my country warcraft and WOW are played by hardcore players, and i mean those players who are actually hardcore in real life(and not those nerds commonly depicted in the internet)

    ..or are you just not old enough to pay for world of warcraft?

    it’s kinda obvious f**king retard

  19. Austen says:

    Is the Author fucking retarded?

    Pokémon = Great game and good memories
    World of Warcraft = Excellent game, although expensive.
    Wii Fit = Don’t see purpose to be honest
    Sims = Some people like this game?

    Who the hell are you to tell people to avoid games? If they want to play it let them play it.


  20. Austen says:

    Kira, you’re f**king amazing btw <3

  21. WoW Sucks says:

    hahahaha so funny reading these comments…. you offended all of the WoW gamer nerds!!! well done! Level 80 and a woman? are you sure you don’t look like a man? or 300 pounds overweight like all the women who play wow? hahahahaha

    • Matthew Elliott says:

      Clearly you’re not the sharpest cookie either… I’ve known some rather hot chicks who had characters on WoW at max level… obviously you know nothing about the game or gaming what so ever, welcome to the the same moron club the author is in.

  22. Richard says:

    I think this article is just so, so sooooooooo wrong, you mention things like “gamer status” and the like, to be honest its the first time in my 16 years of gaming (im 25 now) to ehar such term, i sure enjoyed my first console (it was a NES) and i can say that there are far, far worse games than the ones you mentioned, if you need an example try watching Angry Videogame Nerd on youtube or in cinemassacre to se some HORRIBLE games, the list you mentioned is completely unbiased and innacurate, great games like The Sims, WoW, and Tales of Vesperia should not be in that list, im sorry but you loose this one sir, i suggest you research in-depth and into the gamer’s tastes before taking assumptions.

    And yes, please go watch AVGN


  23. Curtis says:

    Why dont you actually try playing the games before saying not to

  24. Shit article says:

    I stoppeed reading his pointless article when I saw Tales of Vesperia in there.

    It’s the best proper RPG on the 360. And while it’s no Final Fantasy 7, I’m absolutely loving it. Great characters, good voice acting, and an interesting story.

  25. Igluee says:

    Whoe ever wrote this article knows jacks**t about video games.

    Nuff said

    Now go write something you actually know about noob.

  26. Aleena says:

    WoW, This article is mind blowing.

  27. Incognito says:

    Seriously. The author clearly isn’t a gamer.
    If he’s playing a game because of some kind of “status”, then he’s doing it wrong.
    And I agree… he should go out and play a couple games before attempting to write about video games. Or his boss shouldn’t give him an assignment he knows nothing about.
    Igluee said it best.

    “Now go write something you actually know about noob.”

  28. Jager says:

    So you listed games hat seem dumb to you and that you think are for kids and or nerds two wonderful reason why not to play some of these games. these list make you look like a dumbass and a asshole. i do not play most of the game on this lis but i do play pokemon and sims games that I find fun and relaxing. i do belive if freedom of speach bu if it will make you look rude and dunb please keep them to yourself

    • JackAss says:

      u too are idiot jager. he got freedom to write these. u dont like it? go fuck ur self asshole!

      • Matthew Elliott says:

        Yes “go fu*k ur self” a well written comment from probably an 8th grader… you’re likely a troll, but if not I put your IQ at around 85…

  29. Someone says:

    If you think you’re gonna improve your social status with ANY video game, you’re really pathetic… They are GAMES, you play them because it’s FUN, not because you want to please some retarded nutcases… Your skills are Madden won’t help you get laid either!

    You’re clearly still a teenager, so I can’t blame you for not being mature yet, but you missed the point on almost every item of the list.

    For the Leisure Suit Larry for instance: You don’t play those games because you want to get virtual girls or because you want to see some fake boobs. They’re just point and click adventure games like any other, except they’re set in a more adult context. Only 13 year old like you would have a boner playing that, kid… We play it cause it’s humorous and fun.

    And it’s not because you play Sims or WOW that it becomes your real life either… Poor little guy, always having to choose what he does just because you want to win a popularity contest…

  30. Someone555 says:

    Hahahaha I love reading the comments. XD Since your so bothered heck about what “Gamer’s Cred” your in, you should consider what “Writer’s Cred” your in now! XD HAHAHAHAHA

    I’m laughing heck a lot reading this piece of s**t… Wait its not s**t cause that will be such an understatement. XD Anyway, as a writer myself, your lacking a LOT of things probie/nooby. If you wanna make an impact, listen to what these people have to say. This article isn’t for YOU, but for millions and millions (Great now I sound like The Rock =.=) of people like all these people that have commented.

    Or maybe you have lost a girlfriend because you HAVE been playing excessively to the point, she left you and assuming to you, you have lost your creds? xD If thats the case I suggest you better live your life young one. As a veteran gamer as well, playing things (almost in any case of abusive manner) excessively is just too wrong.

    Heck I should be the one writing this bloody article but heck you got your chance about this. My advice, please OOOOOO please not only don’t do an article without further research, but also avoid yourself from relating yourself by reflecting on what you write. For example, like I said earlier on, you keep saying avoid these games to avoid from any further desecration of ‘Gamer’s Cred’, but then again you should be worried because your ‘Writer’s Cred’ AND ‘Gamer’s Cred’ is almost to a full death stop. DON’T MAKE YOURSELF THE TARGET

    :D Thanks for reading this if you are the author. If your not, thanks to ya as well. XD

  31. Mananana says:

    @Igluee and all other retarded gamers who does no nothing except to play videogames…
    Whoever wrote this article, is at least literate.

    If you really are a writer, then you are one stupid writer! I’m glad I didn’t read anything written by you except this stupid comment…

  32. dude says:

    you sound like a kid i went to school with… he was always complaining how everyone never listed to any ‘good’ music, and how no one actually got the street cred he had for listening to certain bands. only you’re the opposite. you’re that kid who says everyone who isn’t sitting is gay, and then think he made a great joke. pathetic. go take a look at cracked.com if you want some tips on how to write quality articles.

  33. Kyle says:

    Well, I see I’m not the first one to say this but…. I stopped caring about your list at number 7. I’ve never played it, but I’ve watched friends of mine play it. It reminds me of how great the Tales series is. Loved Symphonia, loved Abyss, and if I owned a 360, I’d love Vesperia, if what I’ve seen stays true (and I’ve watched around fifteen hours altogether of the gameplay, so I believe it would)

    Also, Pokemon is great. I’ve owned at least one game of every generation and two of gens 3 and 4. White was actually very good.

    As for WoW. Well, I quit playing a couple months ago, but that doesn’t detract from the fact it was a great game. I made some friends in that game, and actually met up with some of them in real life. And I’m still friends, even after quitting that game, with several of them. WoW, especially during BC, though into WotLK/Cata as well (didn’t start playing until BC), was a ton of fun.

  34. derp says:

    obviously, this article was written by someone who is half retarded. and @Mananana is his autistic friend!

  35. Nathan says:

    the comments say it all
    I must just say … owned

  36. Barbie says:

    I’m quite pleased with the infromaiton in this one. TY!

  37. TheGuyWhoWroteThisArticle says:

    Omg I cant believe you status-less lowlifes. You obviously actually play games FOR FUN! Ohmygod that’s the worst of the worst. If you actually have a life, you need to know that your status is more important than your comfort. If someone found out about this, you guys will surely be kicked out of the best boys group. I am the Awesome Man cuz I wrote this and thanks to anyone who thanked me for writing this. Oh and I also forgot to add, Call of Duty and Battlefield series suck even worst, because everyone plays those games! To be popular, play what I play. Just email chawinwinmoon@mail.com on suggestions on good games.

  38. Ihatethisauthor says:

    STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR A EXPERT! GET A LIFE YOU STUPID GUY!!!! Maybe your just jealous of people who owns this game, and the reply:
    “I am the Awesome Man cuz I wrote this and thanks to anyone who thanked me for writing this. ” makes you sound totally GAY! First, your never awesome, and stop thinking there are worshipers following you; emailing you;supporting you; and helping you, CAUSE THAT’S BECAUSE NO ONE EVEN LIKES YOUR ARTICLE!

  39. Bristeel says:

    Dude, wtf?
    Are you gonna rip on Zelda next?
    Or how about Dead Space? Mario? Halo?
    No not Halo because of course that’s “cool” because you men can shoot guns and kill stuff. Yeah woohoo lets go KILL SOME ASIANS IN BLACK OPS.
    At least in Pokemon you aren’t actually hurting anyone. Pokemon has been around for years and will be around till the day you die.
    BY THE WAY Pokemon B&W scored a 40/40 in Famitsu magazine, which means it had to be a pretty good freakin game. It would be a shame not to play it because of losing gamer cred.

  40. Katie says:

    First time coming to this site, also the last.

    Insulting Tales of Vesperia? The Sims? F**k you.
    And if you’re so concerned about people questioning your manhood maybe you should just come out of the closet already. Go crawl back to your hole, you homophobic friendless loser.

  41. Dillion says:

    Well, the two games I understand being on here are, Hasbro Family Game Night, and Leisure Larry. All of the rest are fairly fun, (for superhero games it depends on what game you play) and as for Pokemon being #2? Pokemon are honestly some of the greatest games ever made, and even if they are rated E doesn’t make them bad. I’ll let you play your M rated games, and miss out on gems like Pokemon and Portal.

  42. Steven Hawkings says:

    …… I am stunned by the idiotic comments, and the idiotic article. I agree with maybe 25% of your list, but I don’t see how playing Maple Story makes you cool in the eyes of your Grade 7 class… My verdict, sir, is you are trolling, pretty obvious after you tried to knock Battlefield( And CoD? meh.)for being too mainstream, and desperately tried to convince people you need flame mail.(However, I don’t believe ‘theguywhowrotethisarticle’, and the author are the same people) Go smoke Arsenic you hipster. I’m out.

  43. Miklotov(Not my real name) says:

    LoL I like Tales of Vesperia even if I never played a single PS2 Tales of Series and I like Sims even if I never actually played sims 2 and 3. So based on your article… If I play these games I will damage my gamer’s cred which doesn’t even exist in a real gamer’s world? What are you? 7? 8? 9? 10? Don’t play games cause you want to be popular… If you brag a game that you played at school, you really won’t get friends that way or boost this “Gamers Cred” that you prioritize when playing games.

  44. Tolli says:

    i play sims so i can build houses…. and by the way, gamer credids don´t go around just the games you like.

  45. dragon says:

    I take offence to this y would u waste ur time on writing shit like this if u dont even like these games so fuck you!

  46. Goghiro says:

    Without mean that Warcraft let the player addict and these people who are addict for the game can do cannibal things even SUICIDE like that 13 years old Chinese boy who suicided of a 24 floors height because he wanted to “join” the heroes he loved so much but there was no way this could happen so people,DON’T EVER EVER EVER play Warcaft

  47. Tim says:

    My main question is: Why the fuck should you care about what people think if you play a certain video game.

  48. J.T. says:

    Pokemon? Tales of Vesperia? Games not to play? Does not compute! You = full of fail. I thought IGN was bad, you just beat them all, congrads.

    • Anonymous says:

      He’s obviously looking for hits as he’s probably never played any of these games. Just like trolls of any internet community, they base their opinions on hate and ignorance, without doing any necessary research.

  49. your stupid says:

    dude, you just listed out all the types of game genre’s there are. if you dont like this. how can you like other games of the same fucking genre?

    are you fucking stupid? I get it, you’re one of those dumbasses who play only FPS’es? Black Ops bro. ‘great’ game for a dumbass like you.

  50. Hyperion says:

    The article writer is one funny little man.

    ”Your fellow gamers” That’s histerical.

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